Alan Lange’s Political Vendettas Have “Hacked” The Yall Politics Blog To Death.
For a self-proclaimed political soothsayer, Alan Lange, chief of the Bungled and Incoherent Strategies Department at Yall Politics, appears to be blind to what’s right under his own nose. Although it’s quite possible with a snoot aimed at such a high altitude, and his own declarations of being ready to tee-off on Senator Chris McDaniel should he announce a run against Senator Roger Wicker, the wishful campaign clairvoyant is far too enamored with his own overweening genius to spot what’s right in front of him.
If this is what passes for the political establishment brain-trust these days then their bench is way more shallow than suspected.
Some of Lange’s past bungles include comparing Mississippi’s state flag to a bad tattoo, calling Second Amendment rally goers racists, and shamelessly revealing his own misogynist tendencies by insulting Republican Women across the state. These examples are but a smidgeon of what’s been shared from the powerful brain of the political prophet Alan Lange.
To paraphrase a quote by Lange’s superhero Haley Barbour, ‘It’s one thing to step on your own (pecker), but quite another to jump up and down on it.’ With his latest, Lange has gone to the extra trouble to invite some of his federally-subsidized and tax-incentivized friends over to join him in stomping his manhood into oblivion.
Why is this latest ‘the worst’? Because in his anxiety-driven curiosity to know what’s up with McDaniel, the doofus literally answers his own question. And not just once, repeatedly. Yet he seems oblivious to the fact.
Let’s put on our protective gear and enter the twisted mind of a spinster with self-esteem issues watching the possibility of his subsidized livelihood ending before his very eyes, shall we?
First is the laughingly faux bravado title of his commentary, “It’s “put up or shut up” time for Chris McDaniel’s campaign/non-campaign for #mssen.” Does this numbskull think he’s some sort of gatekeeper? Recess on the playground in his childhood years must be an unrelenting psychological scar for this guy.
Anyway, right out of the gate in the first sentence Lange tells us how McDaniel wrote on Facebook that he would make a decision on his future political plans by the end of October. As if, of all people, McDaniel is going to have Alan Lange on speed-dial to be sure he’s been properly informed.
Lange’s post was published on November 1 at 8:48 am. What’s your rush there, Nostradamus? Crystal ball needing a little Windex?
I don’t recall seeing any scheduled plan to hold a press conference before the chime of midnight on Halloween to provide proper notice to the self-proclaimed political authorities in the establishment GOP. I’d say the would-be political jockey needs to get down off his high horse, but I’m not sure if they even make mounting blocks high enough for him to reach the reins to begin with.
These are but a few of Lange’s blunders. But they are minuscule faux-pas in comparison to the real ding-bat delivery. That comes later.
Here’s three swings, and three misses:
1. Lange Thinks Chris McDaniel Is Chicken?
It seems that having President Trump throw his support behind Roger Wicker this early has really messed with McDaniel’s political calculus. It seems like they thought that Trump would be a bit more politically cautious after Alabama and not get involved in a primary fight, but that didn’t happen. And now that Trump is on board with Wicker, it would be hard to believe that Trump and Governor Phil Bryant would be on different political pages raising the specter of McDaniel having to run headlong into opposition from both a President and an extremely popular sitting Governor.
Yeah. That ‘raises a specter’ alright, but not the specter “it seems” Lange wants his readers to believe. Who in their right mind . . . wait, scratch that. I think we’ve established that as fact.
It takes a special kind of stupid to look at what Chris McDaniel faced in 2013 and 2014, and since — what he fought through and what he fights for today — and to arrive at the position that this man would ever deny his principles or step away from the chance to represent them in a public debate of any sort, including a political campaign for US Senate against a candidate who is only slightly more coherent, and who has only a slightly better voting record, than Senator Thad Cochran. With all apologies to the obviously aging and ailing Senator Cochran, that’s not a high bar to clear.
So, Trump negotiated with Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to show support for Wicker, a member of McConnell’s leadership team. What? Wicker can’t fight his own fights? Daddy McConnell has to step in to try and save him? You think that is what will make the big difference in Chris McDaniel’s “political calculus”?
Lange and his ilk still, STILL don’t get why this is happening. This isn’t about a popularity contest. Nobody is running for prom queen here. This is about competing visions for the future of our state and our country. The keyboard cowboy who argues the campaign is “just not going to be won on Facebook” hasn’t stepped out from behind his online persona and scripted awards ceremonies and into the scrum of real world politics in years, if ever. Alan Lange won’t get his clothes that dirty. But he can always be depended upon to hide behind his arrogant benefactors and throw plenty of mud. To him, impassioned volunteers and supporters in the conservative movement are “wing nuts”.
Why won’t the little cretans of cronyism step out into the bright lights and into the ring and debate the issues? Why do they debate the strategic importance of McDaniel’s “political calculus,” yet ignore the fact that almost weekly Chris is somewhere in the real world discussing with real people face-to-face the challenges before us and his beliefs of how we can best face them?
The answer is clear as glass to everyone, including them. Fear. Fear that their well-established record of policies that show complete disdain for working Mississippians in favor of corruption and corporate welfare to high-dollar donors will wilt like pansies in August Mississippi heat. Because, that’s exactly what would happen. Heck, it’s already happening with or without their participation in such discussions. That’s the reason for all the gnashing speculation. Lange doesn’t know what’s going to happen because he can’t be bothered to actually care about issues related to real-life problems of real-life people. And not knowing is driving him . . . wait, scratch that.
2. Politicians Set Their Sails To Political Winds, Leaders Change The Direction Of The Wind.
Concerning the comparisons of Chris McDaniel’s potential challenge to the recent primary win by conservative Roy Moore in Alabama against the well-funded establishment candidate supported by Mitch McConnell’s DC dagger machine, Lange writes:
But Roy Moore is a pretty different candidate. Here’s a list of his endorsements. In addition to a lot of the out of state talk radio and purity for profit sort of endorsements, he had some meaningful in state endorsements.
But, of these “meaningful in state endorsements” a great many have come AFTER Moore and the conservative movement in Alabama already successfully upended McConnell’s candidate Luther Strange.
We saw this movement happening in 2014 in Mississippi. In the intervening few weeks before the June 24 runoff between Chris and Cochran — while the political machine was busy launching a DC funded effort to expand the Republican Party Primary to include Democrats through gutter-style race-baiting politics — dozens of outspoken politicians began requesting sit-down meetings with Senator McDaniel. They saw which way the political winds were blowing and they became desperate to reset their sails.
3. Alan Lange: Barney Fife Of “Political Calculus”
Finally, as promised, here is the coup de grace, the final shot Lange delivers, only “it seems” he doesn’t know he’s down to his last bullet and has the cross-hairs firmly resting on his own foot, Barney Fife style.
But the bigger question is that if Wicker is as bad a guy as McDaniel says he is, then why isn’t McDaniel signed on the dotted line and already campaigning?
McDaniel doesn’t have any real skin in the game at this point. Real money is not being spent or raised. He’s been extremely cautious about his language on whether or not he’ll pull the trigger.
In short, he’s essentially getting a free look. If Wicker or other Republicans don’t call him out, he can just rock along.
Oh, Alan. You genius political strategist, you; you diviner of the dimwitted.
Chris McDaniel is getting more positive press, more request for interviews, more requests for speaking engagements, and more chances to share the conservative vision for the future with the public across the country than he has probably going back to the first couple of month after the 2014 US Senate race.
Lange, that tortured, well-heeled, insulting little brat who wonders why the bell has rung, recess is over and still very few have shown much interest or trust in being his friend — perhaps the mask of smug self-righteousness is obstructing his view as it has with so many others in Republican Party leadership.
Conservatives in this state and in this country have worked, and have built our own infrastructure without the help of the GOP establishment.
The Republicans in power didn’t want to talk about issues important to conservatives. They wanted to smear conservatives with personal insults instead. Now they wonder why they aren’t included and are left unaware of what is going on behind the scenes of the conservative movement as it nears a tipping point, and as Wicker scrambles to gain some footing in the discussion.
No one in the conservative movement owes Republican hacks like Alan Lange an explanation, least of all Chris McDaniel. It’s certainly not the case that Lange has ever shown any clear-headed thought behind his political postulations regarding Chris.
I remember when Yall Politics was a great medium for right-of-center debate and political discussion.
Unfortunately, it’s been “hacked” to death.